Reality (I can’t believe I am sharing some of this)

  Adjusting to being a mother of two has been so much easier than I anticipated in some ways and so much harder than I anticipated in others. I am so much more relaxed with Banks than I ever was with Cici. I think by this time in her life, she had been to the ER twice, once for what I thought was a brain tumor (lymph node) and once for what I thought were seizures (temper tantrums). She had been to the eye doctor at 3 months (I was convinced she had Retinoblastoma (sp?) because of a special on the Today show and an unfortunate glare in a camera), and we probably had been to the doctor 8 times, usually based on a slight change in poop color. With Banks, our pediatrician said we could come at 1 week, 2 weeks, 1 month and 2 months, or we could just come in for a quick weight check at 2 weeks and not again until 2 months. Guess which I chose? We said “Peace Out, see you in 8 weeks”. I have realized that newborns are a little more resilient than I gave Cici credit for.

  This parenting strategy also has proven true for leaving Banks with a sitter. I think we left him for the first time with non-family sitter at 3 weeks,  basically leaving the sitter a bottle and our phone number and figured she could hang. You should have seen the arsenal of baby equipment and pages of instructions we left with the sitter the first time we left Cici!  So in that sense life is easier this time around.

  Now, to where it gets harder. My achilles heel is getting out of the door. If I am supposed to meet you somewhere, and I am 30 minutes late, I am really proud of myself. Take note friends, if you need me somewhere at 10, go ahead and tell me 9:15. I promise I won’t get mad if I get there early, becuase I will under no circumstances get there early. We tend to have diaper changing emergencies and ravenous hunger the second I am about to strap the little guy into the carseat. Thank the Lord for my little helper Cici. She has been a complete angel and such a help to mommy. I try to make us all look half decent each day, but again, reality is that Caroline picks her clothes and usually ends up in an ensemble like today. Note the jean vest accessorizing the Puma (where the hell did that come from?) shirt and Walmart skirt. Banks typically heads out for the day in whatever he slept in, and I make somewhat of an attempt to not to be wearing workout clothes. Lord knows I am not working out. We usually make it out the door for the day at 11, and I typically have been attempting to get out the door since around 9.

  Notice I didnt include hair and makeup above? Thats becuase not much is going on in those categories right now. Most of you know I have enough hair on my head for 3 people, so it usually ends up pulled up high atop my dome. Due to an uncontrollable vomit reflex while pregnant, I could not get my cut or colored for 9 months. The smell of salons would send me over the edge, so I was a long, puffy, black rooted mess when I finally delivered my sweet baby. I came to the realization that I had to get a haircut two weeks ago, when a woman, wearing “authentic” Louis Vuitton plus sized pink jeans, inquired about what kind of “hair piece” I was wearing. So, being that I had an additional 25 minutes and seeing a swanky “Great Clips” across from Walmart, I headed in. I saw an “Expert Stylist” as they so referred to the technician with the most tenure. Upon asking about how long she had been with the Great Clips institution, she replied since July 11, 2011. Makes you wonder. (As a side note, my favorite roomate ever, who shall remain nameless, went on a date in Boston with a Super Cuts stylist. When she asked “Why Super Cuts?” his response was because the management does not get upset if you mess up your client’s hair. You would think that kind of warning would keep me out of Great Clips type places, but alas, I needed my hair piece trimmed badly.) As I sat in Great Clips with the rest of the patrons, I chuckled at the difference in my life now verses 10 years ago. You see 10 years ago, I was single, living in Boston, and….cool. Having my hair “did” was an event. I would have been sitting in a 3rd floor Newbury Street Salon, sipping wine, making plans for the evening and shelling out $200 bucks for my ‘do. My reality now is staring me in the face at the Great Clips across from the Walmart on Montfort. I pay my $35 (including blowdry) and head on my way. For what its worth, the stylist actually did an excellent job. Luckily it wasn’t Holly’s date, Nacer Anis (can you think of the fun we had with that name) cutting my hair.

  All of that info to tell you that yes, it is wonderful being the mommy of two children. So wonderful that I am actually considering a third at some point, but it ain’t easy. All my clients are so sweet and are probably just blowing smoke up my ass when they say how great I look or how easy I make it seem. Thus, I have a few pictures that paint a better picture of my current “reality” vs. “perception”. It is important to note that as young moms, we are all so freaking hard on ourselves. My friends who work full time feel that they are not measuring up at home. My friends who stay home full time feel guilty that they aren’t contributing to the bottom line of the family finances. Those of us in the middle, who work part time, can feel like we are doing C+ work at both home life and work life. Of course, these scenarios do not describe everyone either. In my opinion social websites like Facebook do nothing to promote the self esteem of moms. Think about it, most people only post pics on Facebook of themselves looking pretty, their kids looking perfect, their husbands winning awards at work, their beautiful new homes, new cars etc. Facebook is the equivalent of those annoying, yes I said it, annoying, Christmas card “update” letters we all get each year. If you are one of the peeps that send update letters, sorry if I have offended you. You can join the ranks of purple lovers, cat people, Kirklands shoppers, capri pant wearers, colored towel purchasers and minivan drivers who are also equally offended by my frankness. I will say that I do love Facebook. I love keeping up with all the wonderful people who have come into my life over the years, but we all need to remember that most people are posting pics that paint themselves in the best light possible.

  In closing, if you wonder why I have not posted on the newest design trend lately, I have been pre-occupied with my “new” normal at home. Its wonderful but it aint pretty. I am amazed at these mommy bloggers who also work full time as designers and manage to have everything perfect all the time. But for me thats not reality. So for your viewing pleasure, I am posting pics of my current “reality”.